Monday, August 11, 2008

Time stand still

Time stand still...


In just two days, my precious five year old daughter will start kindergarten. I am so happy that she has survived five years after having such a rough beginning to her little life. But, I am sad that she won't be here at my house to play with all day every day. I know that she is a social child and will love school but I am still a bit bummed about it all. I am amazed at her little mind and her desire to learn new things. I know that she will far exceed our expectations for her. I am not worried about her adjustment, just mine. I remember two years ago when she started preschool. I was desperately wishing I could make time stand still and keep her home with me a little longer. Eventually I got used to and enjoyed having a little time to get stuff done while she was off playing and learning. Kindergarten is a much bigger deal. It is a long day. I know she will get tired and at times will want her mommy. I know God made this sweet girl with a servant's heart and a desire to help others. I can see her sitting by friends showing them how to do things and offering to pick up after others.

The other 2% I am worried about is myself. I confess ahead of time that this is shallow. There are the concerns of "what if all the other moms already know each other?" and "what if they are all available to come help during the day and I can't?" "will I miss out and they will all end up being BFF except me?". "Will they all have on perfect Ann Taylor ironed clothes? " Oh my gosh1 These families might actually iron their clothes? Do I even own an iron? Anyway, the mom factor feels like high school and school hasn't even started yet! High school was not fun the first time and I really don't want to re-live it. At some point I will choose to look at this all with spiritual eyes and pray about it all, but not today. Today I am having a little tiny freak out.

One of my favorite things to do at night with Matthew is go into the girls' room and look at them one more time before we go to bed. They are always sleeping in some funny position and it always makes us giggle. What amazing sweet gifts from God. Arn't you glad that God doesn't give us gifts based upon what we deserve? I never thought I would end up with my own flesh and blood children and now I have not one but two! God is good. He has carried Samantha through so much already I know He will carry her through Kindergarten, and first grade, and second, .....
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3 comments:

Lori W said...

YES HE WILL!!!
Praying for you during this transition! Get to know her teacher...get involved...be yourself...all will be fine! (for her and for you!)
xo
Lori

Jessica said...

I will be praying for yours and Sams adjustments. I know you will do fine because you are strong :) You are such a great mommy to those beautiful little girls!
-Jessica

Shelley said...

Oh I wish I was there to hug you and cry with you! My baby starts kindergarten next week also. I am so not ready to let go!! Although, this is my second time sending one of to kindergarten, but also my last!! I will never forget the night we moved Cassie out of the bassinet in our room to the crib in her room when she was about 4 months old. I didn't want to leave her in the room. I don't think I have heard God more clearly than I did that night. He said, "I am here to watch her. I will keep her safe. You rest." I have carried that with me through her little 7 years and Brianna's 5! Hugs to you!!! And the Mom thing - you will be fine. I have enjoyed getting to know the other Mommy's!