Friday, February 27, 2009

The Van

Well today is the day. I go from the driver of a Nissan Altima to a Plymouth Voyager minivan. The van (minus the engine)was given to us by my mother when she bought a new one and we just used our tax refund to get it a engine. This afternoon we go to pick it up. I am so very grateful for this so that this soon to be family of five (holy cow) can ride together in the car. Have to admit I am having a mini identity crisis. It will be over by tomorrow I am sure. .

I was trying to think of ways that I could "funk it out" a bit but realize that may just make it look stupid. I am sure there is some way to try to make it my own, not sure what that is yet. I actually googled "how to make your minivan seem cooler" and there weren't any answers!!! There was one article saying that minivans are evil though. I hope one day we can upgrade to an SUV of sorts.

I am grateful that God has blessed me with little ones and hope to be the best mommy ever to them. It is a learning process for sure. I do not have it all figured out yet. I keep having to apologize for different things. Thankfully my sweet children say things like, "It is ok mommy, I forgive you". I am reading through and studying Esther right now. I am reminded of when Mordecai is encouraging Esther to get on with it and says something like, "who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?" I will just have to consider this minivan my "throne", or my chariot. It is a symbol of God's blessings. My reminder of the stage of my life I am in, be thankful for it and truly treasure every moment of it. From car line to playground.

I may add some funky daisies to the mirror or a kickin' stereo just for fun.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Well duh!!!!

God gave me another ah-ha moment today. I was frustrated with Lily. I had told her for the trillionth time to not jump on the sofa or she would fall and get hurt. I told her she shouldn't even be standing up there. It was a baaaaaaad idea. Of course I left for a minute and heard the thud and then the crying. I came back in, consoled her and had a chat with her. I reminded her that mommy and daddy make up the rules to help them to not get hurt. She didn't listen to me, she did what she wanted "thinking it was safe" and ended up getting hurt. Trying to show compassion I didn't say anything to her like "Well duh!!!!". I was instantly taken to a conversation with God about the same thing. He doesn't make up his guidelines to be a cosmic kill joy. He knows what is best for us and doesn't want us to get hurt. Makes me feel so completely stupid that I myself act like a two year old still at times with my life. I am so grateful that God is compassionate with me and I pray that I will become that compassionate with my children. Sadly we don't have the ah-has until we fall off the sofa, bang our head on the coffee table and get dizzy as we cry in pain. That old country song about "one step forward and two steps back" feels like my my life pretty much from 18 on. Consistently inconsistent. It is what I am good at. Hopefully, prayerfully I will get better at this with age. I hope to be an example to my children of not doing the same stupid thing over and over and getting hurt over and over without "getting a clue". I want the clue. I want wisdom and discernment. I want to grow and actually be in a different place this time next week, next month, next year...I know how to get there, I just keep tripping.

Thank you Father for reminding me of your faithful, compassionate love for me and for knowing what is best for me, even now.