It is a hot sunny Saturday afternoon. I am going through my girls' room finding clothes they don't wear anymore to ship off to Goodwill. I have my iTunes music library on continuous play but keep having to come into the room to hit the skip button. Today, as like many days this month, I am feeling contemplative. Some people do not wear their heart on their sleeve like I do but that is just how I was built. I like people to know that I am real and transparent an if my world feels like it is falling apart, it probably will be hard for me to hide. I do NOT truly feel that my world IS falling apart right now though. Things are tough for sure. I feel like I am now completely responsible for three little kiddos in the category of building their character, identity, self worth, social skills, spiritual upbringing etc. I could go on. I have a responsibility even bigger than before. But as God reminded me around 3 in the morning the other night. I am NOT doing it all alone. Although sometimes it does feel like that, I try not to go by feelings. They can't be trusted. I am also reminded of a song by Truth from the early nineties called "Keep Believing" it goes like this...
Keep believing, no matter what you do. Keep believing you know the Lord will see you through, when there are trials, in your life and you don't know what to do, you'll be fine if you just keep believing.
I have had well intended people remind me recently that God will not give us more than we can handle. Although I believe they are quoting a verse in the Bible that is about temptation, I do know that I can handle it all "In Christ". Which reminds me of a song by..... that says,
In Christ I can do all things
In Christ I mount up on eagle's wings
In Christ I wait for a great reward
That I have in store
In Christ I have His righteousness
In Christ I have what I confess
In Christ I don't worry about all the rest
Cause everything I need to be is in Christ. by Big Daddy Weave.
The best reminders of course are from God's word. A place I need to spend lots more time in for sure. I know that I know I would be more at peace with my future if I did.
Lamentations 3:22-24
The unfailing love of the LORD never ends! By his mercies we have been kept from complete destruction. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each day. I say to myself, "The LORD is my inheritance; therefore, I will hope in him!"
I don't know what the future holds. I don't know if God will work the way I want him to, BUT IF HE DOESN'T, He will take care of me. He will take care of my finances. He will take care of my children. He will take care of my heart. He will take care of my future and all that is going to happen.
I sat in my grandfather's funeral recently and sang these words, "All I have needed thy had hath provided, Great is thy faithfullness Lord unto me.
For those following my drama, please continue to pray for all involved, for the comfort of my children, for Matt and for me. Pray that God will change whatever needs to be changed in all of our hearts and that we make honoring Him more important than anything else. Until then...
2 comments:
It's hard out here in the desert...just when you think you're about to run out of strength, God speaks and you're able to keep going. Reminds me of Hagar. Love you girl, keep grabbing onto His hem and holding tight! - Lavonna
It's funny how He speaks these days, isn't it? My brother's wife told me that God speaks to her in the night - kinda like He did to you. I wonder if it has to do with - we are silent and can actually LISTEN.
You are sooo strong - even though you feel so weak.
i think of you so often. You have always been a good friend to me - I found a bookmark you gave me, i think in 9th grade. You are so loving and deserve that in return.
Miss you and praying with you
Cat
Post a Comment