Little eyes...

Single parents, we must guard our testimony before our kids.

We must be deliberate and diligent about not just teaching our kids about Jesus, but living out what we believe. We can show them God‘s word. We can put them in Sunday school. We can put them in Christian school. We can teach them right and wrong. But if we as their parents do not live out what we say we believe, there WILL be a negative overflow to our kids. These Bible verses are not meant to just be memorized to get a gold star. God‘s word is meant to be real, live, and active in our lives. If our children do not see us on our knees before God how will they know that we are truly seeking him? As Single parents, we have to be so careful in our dating lives to keep Jesus at the forefront. Our kids will see early on if the person we are dating knows and loves Jesus. Will your love interest be someone that will help point Your children to Christ OR will they contribute to teaching them the ways of the world?  Men, if you were teaching your daughters about self-respect, dignity and modesty and yet they see that you’re dating someone that does not care about these issues, then there is a gap in your testimony. If you are the father of boys and you’re dating a woman that dresses very seductively, how is this being an example to your sons of being a man of integrity in the kind of person you invest time in? Single moms, your children will see your cautiousness, or they will see you just wanting random fun. Let them see in your waiting that you are putting Christ first. Let them see that you KNOW you are a daughter of the King and you can trust Him, trust His heart to provide His best for you. No need to be out being boy crazy searching for a new husband. Let your sons see that there is a difference in the men that you date, that they aren’t just “church guys “, but are men that genuinely love and live for the Lord. Our children are watching us. We can’t just throw our testimony out the window because slacking in this area “is just what we need right now. Every show that they see us watch, every conversation, every date that they’re aware of, needs to reflect Jesus through and through, in front of them, and behind closed doors. 

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us,”
‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭12:1 

The Second Act...

The second act will begin shortly, just after a brief intermission….

 This summer has been a summer of blessings.  It would take too long to list all the ways God has blown me away this summer, but I can testify that God sure does take care of His own.  The last three years have been a roller coaster.  Some valleys, some mountain tops and a whole lot of coasting and clinging to Jesus.  I can say that I have learned to delight in my Savior and in His word in a way I haven’t before.  Being a “good Christian girl”, I frequently had my “quiet times with God” because I knew it was the right thing to do, because I wanted to learn and have that time with Him.  But, I would say through the pain of "being left", I  have truly learned and been able to experience truly delighting in the Lord.  My mother had taught me the Bible verse years ago: “Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart” Psalm 37:4.  I even sat through an entire Beth Moore simulcast about that particular verse but don’t think I truly understood the “delighting” part until this year.

A new chapter of my life is beginning shortly.  This end of my Alimony years/Being a stay-at-home mom is soon to be over.  What will I do next?  I haven’t the foggiest! I am praying for wisdom, direction and doors to be opened.  

I continue to learn about forgiveness.  God is so very good to give us extra chances and I am desperately learning and trying to understand how to take that overwhelming sense of gratitude I have to Him for His forgiveness of me, and transfer that to those I know I need to forgive the most. This summer I have been brought to my knees like never before. Having God humble you is just not fun, but I wouldn't trade that experience in for anything.  Whatever it takes to chip away anything in me that needs to be chipped away at...I am willing.

I know my heart’s desire. God knows my heart’s desire. Many of you know my heart’s desire. But only God knows when THAT particular chapter of my life will begin.  But now, during this intermission, I am learning to love my Savior like never before.  I used to watch people in church who I could tell were just praising Jesus with complete abandonment, not a care in the world, just in awe of their King.  I thought that was nice that they were so on fire for Jesus.  But, somewhere in me, I guess I still cared a little bit what people would think if everyone in the church was sitting and I was the only one standing there, hands high in the sky, with tears running down my face.  These days, I can’t seem to make it through church without tears, not the tears of pain and abandonment, but tears of awe and gratitude.  “How great, how awesome is He”!

I have tried to journal the past three years for my kids so they could see all the ways God has provided.  So they would be able to read back one day on how their mommy learned to make God her strength, her joy and her delight.  I know myself,  I know I will probably screw up in some way in the next 24 hours, but Thank God his mercies are new every morning.  Since the divorce rate is so very high these days, I know, sadly, that I will see more people I know go through what I went through. I am definitely not saying I have arrived, but I can say what helped me.  I can share that the only way to make it through is to cling to Jesus, let Him heal your heart and clean out whatever ugly there is inside of you that needs to be cleaned out.

If God ever decides to send romantic love my way, from a man that Loves the Lord above all else, I look forward to honoring God by honoring my future husband.  For now,  I am trying to make my home a Christ centered home.  I am excited though about my kids one day seeing our home led by a man that loves Jesus so very much and can encourage them daily in their walks as well. 

Whatever happens in my future, I know God will be with my family.  I wish I could so clearly convey to my friends who do not know Jesus, just how very real and awesome He is.  He has blown us away this summer.  I have loved the past few weeks being able to tell any single person who would listen about what God has done for me and my kids recently. I just love being able to testify!

Pray for us the next thirty days with all the changes that will be taking place that we continue to grow, delight, and cling to Him.

"I keep my eyes always on the LORD. With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken." Psalm 16:8

Staying on the path

Well I just noticed that I have not update my blog in a while.  Since December, a lot has changed.  I feel as though God has continued to heal my heart from past hurts and is teaching me to trust Him and enjoy Him more than ever.  Some people I was close to this time last year I am not close to now which is sad, but I know sometimes friendships are for a season.  I am learning more about God's grace and what that truly means.  It is a word that has been part of our "churchese" for years but I think I know its depth now more than ever.  I have seen so many families fall apart this year.  It has to break God's heart every time that happens.  We have to ask ourselves if we truly believe what we say we believe then it has to affect every area of our lives.  Enough with the giving yourself exceptions or justifying away your actions...God says if we love Him we will follow His commands.  I want to do this, not because I am trying to appear like a good girl and follow all the rules, but because I want Him pleased with me.  I don't want to disappoint Him.  This is a time for me to focus on what lies ahead and "throw off everything that hinders".  This journey of faith isn't an easy one.  This journey as a single woman with Lupus and mother of three little ones,  reallllllly not an easy one.  But God continues to provide, continues to sustain and continues to be faithful.