Monday, September 13, 2010

Suddenly Single

I have told those close to me over the past few months that I have felt like I am standing on the beach with my feet stuck in the sand. I am standing there waiting for a huge tidal wave to come and crash down upon me and there is nothing I can do but stand there and wait. Well it has been ten days since my divorce became final. So far I am doing alright. The tidal wave wasn't as bad as I was expecting. More like a small painful ripple. The preliminary "big moments" were actually worse. I have never in my life thrown up because of stress but ended up pulling my car over more than once during the six months of separation.
Here is what I have learned so far...
1. You really do feel better after you barf. :-)
2. God really does carry us through the hard times.
3. I must trust Him for my daily manna in multiple categories.
4. I am guessing dating in my mid thirties is going to be way different then when I was 20.
5. You really find out who your friends are when you go through a big life crisis like this. I think I have blogged about that point before but DUDE it needed to be mentioned again.
6. It is amazing how you can bond with random people at the Dr.'s, the bank, etc. by mentioning your going through a divorce.
7. After watching the musical Respect this weekend, I was contemplative if I am going to be the kind of girl that sits by the phone this time around and waits for Mr. Fabulous to call or if I am going to live my life and not let those things consume me. I am voting for option B. I deserve respect this time around. I deserve to be told I am beautiful. I deserve to be adored and gosh darnit I am kinda looking forward to all that!!!
8. I have heard so many stories of people leaving churches because of some little thing they didn't agree with or because someone hurt their feelings or judged them etc.... so I would like to add NO church is perfect. There will be no perfect group of friends or perfect pastor anywhere. We all need to get over it. There will be people that will judge how I handle my new singleness. How long to wait to date... etc. There seem to be so many unspoken rules that I can't seem to know them all or get them all right. But I have been really impressed with how most of the believers I know have treated me so far through all this. This is the time when we need each other's love and support. We need to "fill in the gap" for each other. That is what we are supposed to be doing as Christians not sitting around on our catookis pointing fingers. Just my opinion. Thank you to all my sweet friends who have gone to court with me, sent emails, sent flowers, sent enchiladas (w00 hoo), bought me Sangria etc. I am so very very grateful for all the support large or small. Love ya! Kiss Kiss!
9. My next blog will NOT be titled Sex In The City. hee hee. But maybe I can make a fun blog of my dating adventures. Details to follow... Till then don't worry about those tidal waves. Their bark is worse than their bite.


Jennifer Compton said...

Well said Tara. Great read. Your doing great and I for see a great future for you and your little ones. Did the barf come out your nose? That never makes me feel better when that happens.

Lori W said...

continuing to pray for all of you. so sorry you're going through this.
and I almost spit out my drink reading Jennifer's comment...seriously,that's the WORST part about barfing...the WORST.

Jennifer Sanabria said...

So well written, Tara! God is good ALL the time! I can say being a single mom can be difficult, but it's even more difficult when we forget to consult our Husband and the Father of our children for guidance and comfort. He knows us and our children's needs so much better than we do. We just have to learn to fully rely on Him, NO MATTER how high the wave may be! Love you, girl!

Anonymous said...

You're AMAZING! Love ya friend!!!!
Jessica O :)

Anonymous said...

Iwould have to say that grace is your biggest attribute through all this. I was never as loving and as beauutiful as you have been through this stupidity in life. I miss your smiling face and would have loved to stand my your side (literally) through this, but the miles have kept us apart.It has been over 10 years ago that I met my love and rediscovered Christ and the beauty of love - it will getcha! Love, CatS